Have I been mugged?!...

A couple of days ago, I went to a laundromat for the first time in my life. I never thought I would go to a laundromat simply because I had always stayed at somewhere with a laundry room, a washing machine or laundry service up until now. To be fair, Radisson, where I'm staying at the moment, does have laundry service. But who would pay $2.50 to wash a pair of socks? I am not cheap, but I do have a lot of socks. So my friend, Eric, and I decided to do our laundry at a local laundromat, which turned out to be not so local. We took 3 different freeways to get to another middle-of-nowhere, and mysteriously there's a laundromat. 

So at this point, you might think that I would have brought quarters with me, right? No, I didn't. I don't carry coins, remember? Eric came well prepared with loads of quarters, but he had got a whole lot more stuff to wash. So I thought I would use the change machine to get some vital quarters. I didn't think that was a problem since it was a laundromat, so there must be a change machine. I was wrong; there were two change machines. So I picked one. Those who know me well know I suck at multiple choice and true/false questions. And there's no exception this time. I took out a $10, and put it right into the carefully selected change machine. I thought nothing could go wrong. But it did. It didn't give me any quarters, and gave me $5 back. Not a regular $5 as you would think though; it's this ->

I was looking at the half of a ten the machine gave back to me for 5 seconds, and I was speechless. Then I asked forcefully "really?!" Eric looked at me and tried to figure out what's going on. He saw the "$5" I was holding in my hand and the face I was making, he laughed.

"Have I just been mugged?!" I asked. 

"Yea, I think so," said Eric.

Nashville, TN

I should've stayed in LA with him

I shouldn't have come to Reno.

Reno, NV

Update:

I got a surprisingly important call from Kai at the airport when I was boarding the plane back to LA. He said that the LA Animal Services called him and told him that they found Lucas in the neighborhood where he was last seen. I called the department of animal services immediately, and the news was confirmed. On the phone, the officer asked me, "do you wanna come and get him back?" I said, "I spent $2000 to find him, so yea, I am flying back to LA to pick him up. And he's grounded forever."

Follow-up:

Lucas is now in Texas with Kai. He has lost a lot of weight; he has a small body with a big head - a combination of the two of us.

At the airport, everybody loved Lucas, including the TSA.

Left: Lucas in flight  Right: Lucas sleeping on/with his mom, Kai

放手

捨不得落日的餘暉，忘不了燦爛過的痕跡，放不開逝去了的夢想，在那離不開的路口徘徊，癡想我的執著能留住昨天。從不甘到不捨、從不願放棄到不想糾纏，你與我都因為那個他失去了太多。當記憶寫成了文字、當感覺變得模糊、當對錯不再重要、當心已倦了，原來那年已是那麼遠。那改變不了的、拋不開的、得不到的、走不進的、留不住的，請放手，讓我走。願我們終有一天能找到各自的自由。

Alexandria Ave, CA

Tella

It's been a while since we parted. I thought I had forgotten, but it all came back in a dream I had after nights of being self destructive. Everything seemed so real, so vivid down to the smallest detail, the scent of you, the feel of your skin against my lips, the way you taste, and of course, the juice I liked to suck out of you, the juice of the forbidden fruit; everything was just like the way I remember it.

The dream was so real that I was confused at first and had to think for a couple of minutes when I woke up from it. Was it real or was it just a compilation of some recycled memories I burried in my subconsiousness that I haven't been able to let go? Do I miss you or do I just miss the me I used to be? Perhaps I just miss the past, the past when I was able to feel the euphoria you brought into my life. Do I wish I could go back to the past? Perhaps a better question would be "have I ever left?"

Maybe the dream wasn't that real. Maybe it's because my senses have become numb from the excruciating pain of sorrow I put myself through, so reality seems less real to me.

Alexandria Ave, CA

長夜 (A Long Night)

孤高走過，掩飾思憶眷戀
自欺欺人，逃避殘酷現實
輕描淡寫，道出簡單感傷
自問自答，更顯長夜落寞
無奈苦笑，只因欲哭無淚

To cover up my yearning and nostalgia, I walked through people in an unapproachable manner. To avoid the cruel truth, I deceived myself as well as others. Touching on lightly, I expressed my simple grief. The long night seemed even lonelier when I answered my own questions. At the end of the night, I forced a wry smile because it’s too deep for tears.

S Alexandria Ave, CA

下午七時

面向太陽的角度日漸增加，日落的時間是進入 Perihelion 的最佳宣告者。異常晴朗的天氣喚醒了天地萬物的希望與生命力，也喚醒了我的觸感回憶。風中帶來的是高緯度地區夏季特有的生命氣息。下午七時的陽光為完美的天藍色添上一層舊相片獨有的、淡淡的金黃色，蔚藍廣闊的晴空變得像上世紀初的南美明信片。

無瑕的天色、夏日的陽光、春季的涼風加上秋冬的乾爽，再次觸動人心，令存在就足以讓人感到幸福。恰到好處的溫度配上悠閒的週末下午，這樣的七時所帶來的字詞是 déjà vu。

阿姆斯特丹大學的媒體課、De Bijenkorf 的下午茶、在 Krommenie 等巴士回家的時間、十六號與四號電車的旅程，這些片段都曾在相同的空氣中發生。Simple but extraordinary.

When I look back on my ordinary life, I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

置身回憶的下午七時是暴風雨前夕的平靜。
隨著近日點的逼近，我已作好迎接與面對它的準備。

Tapioca & Starbucks, Stevens Creek, CA

台北上空

沒有期望和等待的日子過得特別快，但當中的每一天卻又是那麼難渡過。這段時間裡的種種令我們之間的距離變的更遙遠，並沒有把它拉近的意向。經歷過你所帶來的各種感受後，在無任何選擇下唯有心死，電話中的無言讓我更肯定這個事實。

橫過換日線的航程變得更短，百感交雜下腦海中忽然只剩下惶恐，一切變得更難面對。

Taipei, Taiwan

Oklahoma上空

曾幾何時自己亦常常問為什麼時間過得那麼慢。好讓期待的某天快些來臨而想盡辦法消磨時間的日子不知從何時起消失了。自此，每年到了這季節我都不禁說出同一番說話－時間過得真快，就這樣又一年了。


還欠西雅圖一篇

Oklahoma City, OK

壞習慣

同樣是夏天，兩年前因為一個壞習慣令我錯過這一部戲的前半部分。匆匆的進場，根本也沒有細心去看。當時的我並沒有覺得可惜，也沒有想過會有機會把這部戲完整的看一次。可能是因為不完整的人生讓我習慣了世事的不完美。

兩年後的今天，因為同一個壞習慣終於讓我看到了錯過的部分。在這休閒的下午，我以不一樣的思緒重新感受這部戲。一部簡單的電影因為一個巧合讓我對身邊的事物有了更深的體會。

過去無法改變，未來難以預測。只有現在才是真正實在。為了逃避現在，我不能自拔的沉溺過去；為了重回過去，我不顧一切的強求未來。這一切都讓現在更難過。

活在當下對我來說是多麼的奢侈。

Tapioca, CA

彩虹

一份無奈的執著把我長關在烏雲密佈的黑暗世界裡，擺脫不了為自己上的枷鎖，活像個等候上訴判決的絕望者，然而，自己的執著早已向我判了刑。

除夕夜，放不低的無奈和欷歔把自己弄進了醫院，雙重的折磨讓我永遠不會忘記零五年的首個零時。一個糟的開始希望會是一個好的教訓。

踏入零五年的第一個月，我終於看見了彩虹。我站在路邊凝望著這一道被我遺忘已久的彩虹，再度感受那份奇妙的感覺。這是我首次在她以外的天空能用心看出彩虹。

在不同的天空，它以一如以往的姿態在灰色不同層次的雲下出現，在遠方再現的陽光映照下勾起同樣的回憶。它一點也沒變，變了的只是我。

同樣是回家路途上吹向面的涼風，所想所感卻是那麼的不一樣。

彩虹過後希望能看見烏雲外的天空。

Fallenleaf Lane, CA

簡單的快樂

人越大生活就變得越復雜，快樂的感覺亦越來越難找到。小時候很容易從生活上一些簡單的小事找到快樂，在沒有煩惱的阻礙下，快樂可以維持很久。其實，這種簡單的快樂才是最難得到。

這個下午，我獨自坐在Tapioca飲著檸檬紅茶享受下課後的時光。突然發現我那期待已久的校園生活已在這一剎那不知不覺地得到了。簡單的陽光、空氣、適當的溫度、下課後坐在café看書的場景，突然令我感受到久違了的快樂。這種快樂是非常簡單亦非常實在。

在這一小時裡，我把自己從現實中抽出暫時把煩惱放在一邊，細味著這一小時的每一刻。

Tapioca, CA