1400 mi | 走出黑暗 - Arlington, Texas

沒有細心的計畫，沒有周詳的打算，有的只是對未來的堅持和對希望的信心。從黑暗中出發，在倉促的時間下告別過去的枷鎖，踏上尋找黎明的旅途。說的不只是三年前的決定。

在欣喜與擔憂的同時,帶著對自己的疑惑及對前進的渴望，離開這平靜的城市。這無聲無色間在我生命裡扮演了重要支柱的城市。

離開為回望背後風景添上另一種味道。再次踏上德州公路，這一刻讓它引領我回看自己。穿過曾走過的路通往了無人煙的西南方，像演公路電影般，在保留了六、七十年代美國中部風味的油站，見證破曉曙光劃破凌晨的沉默。我會記得這一刻－我走出黑暗。

Westwood, CA

再遇

分別令再遇變得寶貴；離開讓我有機會回望過去的印記。掙扎、留戀、尋找、等待，在走向明天的路途上，我們有各自的故事。每一段路都有不一樣的旅程，沿途的景觀讓天開始明亮的過程變得更具意義。
黎明前的重聚讓我們對嘗過的甘與苦有更深的體會－所走過的無論好壞苦樂都讓我們變得更完整。

Chicago, IL - Dallas, TX

Leftt - Chicago O'Hare Int'l Airport
Right - Dallas/Fortworth Int'l Airport

逃避現實

帶著甜蜜的謊話入睡，所感到的幸福是在現實世界中找不到的。或許我已習慣沈醉於酒後甜言蜜語與自我催眠，但既然那一刻是快樂的，何必要把它拆穿？可悲、可笑，還是可憐我都不在乎，我只知道片刻的快樂並不易尋獲。美麗的現實我甚少遇到；若現實是美麗，我又何需不斷逃避？

Makkasan, Bangkok, Thailand

Frisco

曾對你有過憧憬，卻從沒想過在生命中會有與你交匯的一刻。這也是你教會了我的第一件東西 － 沒有不可能。
是你讓我不再殘缺、是你令我成長。因為你，我學會了：
- 面對現實跟接受現實的分別
- 堅守信念並不只是一句勵志說話；life takes determination
- 展望將來，不忘過去，活於現在
- 世事並無必然；「應得」是爭取的成果
- 奇蹟並非自然發生，而是從被認為的不可能中創造出來的
- 不但要活的好，更要活的有意義

我現在帶著與你的回憶及從你身上學到的走到人生新的一頁，是你令今天變成可能。

後記：

三藩市跟其他國際大城市一樣都散發著一股攝人的都會魅力，但它的獨特之處是其放鬆並享受每一刻的生活哲學令三藩市少了一份密集城市的壓迫感。豐富的歷史背景，濃厚的文化氣息，再配上北加州溫和且清爽的天氣，讓這令人傾慕的生活哲學得到更大的發揮與展現的空間。

Pacific Ocean, SFO - INC

Click to enlarge

下午七時

面向太陽的角度日漸增加，日落的時間是進入 Perihelion 的最佳宣告者。異常晴朗的天氣喚醒了天地萬物的希望與生命力，也喚醒了我的觸感回憶。風中帶來的是高緯度地區夏季特有的生命氣息。下午七時的陽光為完美的天藍色添上一層舊相片獨有的、淡淡的金黃色，蔚藍廣闊的晴空變得像上世紀初的南美明信片。

無瑕的天色、夏日的陽光、春季的涼風加上秋冬的乾爽，再次觸動人心，令存在就足以讓人感到幸福。恰到好處的溫度配上悠閒的週末下午，這樣的七時所帶來的字詞是 déjà vu。

阿姆斯特丹大學的媒體課、De Bijenkorf 的下午茶、在 Krommenie 等巴士回家的時間、十六號與四號電車的旅程，這些片段都曾在相同的空氣中發生。Simple but extraordinary.

When I look back on my ordinary life, I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

置身回憶的下午七時是暴風雨前夕的平靜。
隨著近日點的逼近，我已作好迎接與面對它的準備。

Tapioca & Starbucks, Stevens Creek, CA

雨後陽光

雨水無情的灑於我身，冷風亦從不憐惜地鞭打每一吋肌膚，強橫地將刺骨的痛穿過濕透的襯衫帶進我心。疲乏的軀體拖著過往的行裝與包袱奮力向前走，對寒冷刺骨的風雨早已麻木，久而久之更成為了提醒我我仍然存在的訊號，促使我必須加快步伐走下去。由討厭到習慣，再由習慣變成需要，一切都在抗拒與接受的矛盾中拉扯。

最讓人珍惜的是雨後穿透雲層的陽光，光線穿越積雲多處投射到大地，涼風帶著清爽的空氣從雲縫中吹到身上，將面上風雨沙泥一一帶走，讓人看清久違了的雲後藍天。在鴻偉的雲層映照下，天空並沒有所想的那麼高，卻比想像中廣闊。陽光射到雲層顯化萬千色彩，本是刺眼的光線亦變得柔和，令人迷戀。一切都變成值得。

再長的冬季都曾經過。冒著風雨走到這裡，為的只是一個信念。能否將遺憾換成驕傲？洪水過後，世界會變成怎樣？我靜待雨後陽光。

Fallenleaf Lane, CA

活下去

請教我如何活下去。
教我如何活下去！
我如何活下去？
如何活下去．．．
活下去？

Fallenleaf Lane, CA

New Yorkers' Tears

Located in the center of lower Manhattan, financial center of the world, the World Trade Center used to be the symbol of civilization. It was the pride of not only New Yorkers, but all Americans. Two giant buildings turning into ashes was a nightmare to everyone; it was a catastrophe for New York.

Years after the attack, everything seems to be back to normal. Lower Manhattan is still as busy as it used to be. Walking as if being chased, pedestrians never slow down, footsteps never stop. Impatient cab drivers drive in the big city; cars honk every five seconds. The noise is like the heartbeat of New York, showing that the city is still alive. Everything seems normal, except Ground Zero.

In order to go to Ground Zero, I took the E subway, the express line to the World Trade Center. From my observation, the E train was not different from other trains. It’s old, not clean, not very comfortable and quite inconvenient, just like the rest of the New York City subways. However, it’s special because the display board on the train shows that the World Trade Center is the destination. It’s not hard to understand why the E train’s display board is one of the most popular photo-shooting spots in New York. As a tourist, I had no reason not to take this train. After four years of listening to all the tragic stories reported by the media, I was finally on board the train to share the pain. And it was the first time that I truly understood how difficult it must be for those who lost loved ones.

It was rush hour by the time I arrived at the World Trade Center station. A lot of people had just left from work, and were rushing to catch their trains at this rebuilt temporary station. I was the only one walking slowly to Ground Zero. Each step I took brought me closer to the site on which the Twin Towers once stood.

Although the World Trade Center doesn’t exist anymore, the name of the PATH station next to it still remains the same. As the matter of fact, everything remains the same in lower Manhattan. Office buildings, shopping malls, hotels and the Trinity Church are still there; they are the survivors as well as the witnesses of the tragedy. It’s like they are there to remember the loss of the Twin Towers. The absence of the World Trade Center is reflected by their existence. The emptiness is emphasized by such big contrast.

The weather was freezing cold. The wind blew so hard, reminding me that the Twin Towers were no longer there to stand against it. Looking at the rubble, I felt even colder. There were other tourists standing at the observing spot besides me. But none of us were speaking. We were grieving for the loss of life. Even though it was so noisy right across the street, it was deadly silent on our side. It’s just like the site of the World Trade Center is isolated and exists in another world. The only thing we heard was the wind blowing; it brought sorrow to our hearts, and tears to our eyes.

An hour visit to the site of the World Trade Center has changed the way I feel about New York City. Although New York City seems to be fully recovered already, the emptiness is still there; it’s like part of it has died. And that part cannot be replaced. New York can never be the same without the Twin Towers, just like those who lost their family and friends can never live the same lives again. The pain still exists in every New Yorker’s heart. It is obvious that people still cannot accept the truth that the World Trade Center is gone. Everything that’s related to the World Trade Center remains virtually unchanged. The WTC express line still exists, and people still call the rebuilt station the World Trade Center station. All these show that the WTC has a irreplaceable place in everyone’s heart. Reflecting upon the absence is the best way to remember. Signs of the heart and soul, the toughness and resilience, of New Yorkers can be found easily around the site of the World Trade Center – the place once was the centerpiece of the world’s capital.

Fallenleaf Lane, CA