Thursday, April 13, 2006

下午七時

面向太陽的角度日漸增加,日落的時間是進入 Perihelion 的最佳宣告者。異常晴朗的天氣喚醒了天地萬物的希望與生命力,也喚醒了我的觸感回憶。風中帶來的是高緯度地區夏季特有的生命氣息。下午七時的陽光為完美的天藍色添上一層舊相片獨有的、淡淡的金黃色,蔚藍廣闊的晴空變得像上世紀初的南美明信片。

無瑕的天色、夏日的陽光、春季的涼風加上秋冬的乾爽,再次觸動人心,令存在就足以讓人感到幸福。恰到好處的溫度配上悠閒的週末下午,這樣的七時所帶來的字詞是 déjà vu。

阿姆斯特丹大學的媒體課、De Bijenkorf 的下午茶、在 Krommenie 等巴士回家的時間、十六號與四號電車的旅程,這些片段都曾在相同的空氣中發生。Simple but extraordinary.

When I look back on my ordinary life, I see so much magic, though I missed it at the time.

置身回憶的下午七時是暴風雨前夕的平靜。
隨著近日點的逼近,我已作好迎接與面對它的準備。


Tapioca & Starbucks, Stevens Creek, CA

Friday, March 17, 2006

雨後陽光

雨水無情的灑於我身,冷風亦從不憐惜地鞭打每一吋肌膚,強橫地將刺骨的痛穿過濕透的襯衫帶進我心。疲乏的軀體拖著過往的行裝與包袱奮力向前走,對寒冷刺骨的風雨早已麻木,久而久之更成為了提醒我我仍然存在的訊號,促使我必須加快步伐走下去。由討厭到習慣,再由習慣變成需要,一切都在抗拒與接受的矛盾中拉扯。

最讓人珍惜的是雨後穿透雲層的陽光,光線穿越積雲多處投射到大地,涼風帶著清爽的空氣從雲縫中吹到身上,將面上風雨沙泥一一帶走,讓人看清久違了的雲後藍天。在鴻偉的雲層映照下,天空並沒有所想的那麼高,卻比想像中廣闊。陽光射到雲層顯化萬千色彩,本是刺眼的光線亦變得柔和,令人迷戀。一切都變成值得。

再長的冬季都曾經過。冒著風雨走到這裡,為的只是一個信念。能否將遺憾換成驕傲?洪水過後,世界會變成怎樣?我靜待雨後陽光。

Fallenleaf Lane, CA

Saturday, February 18, 2006

活下去

請教我如何活下去。
教我如何活下去!
我如何活下去?
如何活下去...
活下去?

Fallenleaf Lane, CA

Monday, January 23, 2006

New Yorkers' Tears

Located in the center of lower Manhattan, financial center of the world, the World Trade Center used to be the symbol of civilization. It was the pride of not only New Yorkers, but all Americans. Two giant buildings turning into ashes was a nightmare to everyone; it was a catastrophe for New York.

Years after the attack, everything seems to be back to normal. Lower Manhattan is still as busy as it used to be. Walking as if being chased, pedestrians never slow down, footsteps never stop. Impatient cab drivers drive in the big city; cars honk every five seconds. The noise is like the heartbeat of New York, showing that the city is still alive. Everything seems normal, except Ground Zero.

In order to go to Ground Zero, I took the E subway, the express line to the World Trade Center. From my observation, the E train was not different from other trains. It’s old, not clean, not very comfortable and quite inconvenient, just like the rest of the New York City subways. However, it’s special because the display board on the train shows that the World Trade Center is the destination. It’s not hard to understand why the E train’s display board is one of the most popular photo-shooting spots in New York. As a tourist, I had no reason not to take this train. After four years of listening to all the tragic stories reported by the media, I was finally on board the train to share the pain. And it was the first time that I truly understood how difficult it must be for those who lost loved ones.


It was rush hour by the time I arrived at the World Trade Center station. A lot of people had just left from work, and were rushing to catch their trains at this rebuilt temporary station. I was the only one walking slowly to Ground Zero. Each step I took brought me closer to the site on which the Twin Towers once stood.

Although the World Trade Center doesn’t exist anymore, the name of the PATH station next to it still remains the same. As the matter of fact, everything remains the same in lower Manhattan. Office buildings, shopping malls, hotels and the Trinity Church are still there; they are the survivors as well as the witnesses of the tragedy. It’s like they are there to remember the loss of the Twin Towers. The absence of the World Trade Center is reflected by their existence. The emptiness is emphasized by such big contrast.

The weather was freezing cold. The wind blew so hard, reminding me that the Twin Towers were no longer there to stand against it. Looking at the rubble, I felt even colder. There were other tourists standing at the observing spot besides me. But none of us were speaking. We were grieving for the loss of life. Even though it was so noisy right across the street, it was deadly silent on our side. It’s just like the site of the World Trade Center is isolated and exists in another world. The only thing we heard was the wind blowing; it brought sorrow to our hearts, and tears to our eyes.

An hour visit to the site of the World Trade Center has changed the way I feel about New York City. Although New York City seems to be fully recovered already, the emptiness is still there; it’s like part of it has died. And that part cannot be replaced. New York can never be the same without the Twin Towers, just like those who lost their family and friends can never live the same lives again. The pain still exists in every New Yorker’s heart. It is obvious that people still cannot accept the truth that the World Trade Center is gone. Everything that’s related to the World Trade Center remains virtually unchanged. The WTC express line still exists, and people still call the rebuilt station the World Trade Center station. All these show that the WTC has a irreplaceable place in everyone’s heart. Reflecting upon the absence is the best way to remember. Signs of the heart and soul, the toughness and resilience, of New Yorkers can be found easily around the site of the World Trade Center – the place once was the centerpiece of the world’s capital.

Fallenleaf Lane, CA

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

NJ Transit


從新澤西州進入紐約,穿過舊工業區到達國際大都會,途中看到的就像腦海裡遺失已久的片段從新播放。

枯黃的亁草、破舊的工廠、紅磚外牆的公共房屋,在灰白的晴天下,從老舊的車廂望出去,一切都變的分外親切 – 是熟識的冬季。

履行了三年前的約定,現在跟家是多麼的接近。我得承認我想家。

Newark, NJ - New York City, NY

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

窗外

聽著相同的歌,坐在同一位置,以同一個角度望出窗外,相同的景物帶來不同的感受。

月換星移,夕陽西下的位置再次回到原點。日子一天比一天過的快,但當中的時間卻異常漫長。在抱怨須時刻與時間追逐的同時,亦厭倦無止境的跟現實拉鋸。

在矛盾與虛空中找到的只有無奈。
窗外的世界訊息萬變,坐於窗前卻感停滯不前。

Fallenleaf Lane, CA

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

台北上空

沒有期望和等待的日子過得特別快,但當中的每一天卻又是那麼難渡過。這段時間裡的種種令我們之間的距離變的更遙遠,並沒有把它拉近的意向。經歷過你所帶來的各種感受後,在無任何選擇下唯有心死,電話中的無言讓我更肯定這個事實。

橫過換日線的航程變得更短,百感交雜下腦海中忽然只剩下惶恐,一切變得更難面對。

Taipei, Taiwan

Monday, July 18, 2005

公路上的領悟

漫長的七月十七日,另一個教人揮之不去難以忘記的日子。腦海裡出現千萬個問號,不斷問自己已知答案的問題。剎那間一切變得不再重要。

迷失在德州公路上,漫無目的向前走,腦海再沒有思索的空間。方向感把我引領到該到的地方,真相卻令我心找不到方向。

一相情願的想法換來的原來只有傷人的語句。哀痛中找到的只有無奈。

世事哪有絕對?信任純屬笑話。
世事難料,人心更難測。

Arlington, TX

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Oklahoma上空

曾幾何時自己亦常常問為什麼時間過得那麼慢。好讓期待的某天快些來臨而想盡辦法消磨時間的日子不知從何時起消失了。自此,每年到了這季節我都不禁說出同一番說話-時間過得真快,就這樣又一年了。


還欠西雅圖一篇
Oklahoma City, OK

Friday, July 08, 2005

壞習慣

同樣是夏天,兩年前因為一個壞習慣令我錯過這一部戲的前半部分。匆匆的進場,根本也沒有細心去看。當時的我並沒有覺得可惜,也沒有想過會有機會把這部戲完整的看一次。可能是因為不完整的人生讓我習慣了世事的不完美。

兩年後的今天,因為同一個壞習慣終於讓我看到了錯過的部分。在這休閒的下午,我以不一樣的思緒重新感受這部戲。一部簡單的電影因為一個巧合讓我對身邊的事物有了更深的體會。

過去無法改變,未來難以預測。只有現在才是真正實在。為了逃避現在,我不能自拔的沉溺過去;為了重回過去,我不顧一切的強求未來。這一切都讓現在更難過。

活在當下對我來說是多麼的奢侈。

Tapioca, CA